shapeless meaning.

thank you for giving me this,

this sensation of lost longing.

of my heart submerged and still in a

sunken sphere of time and space.

perhaps this is bliss?

being bound to feeling.

the carnage of metal made up in mind

after missing it’s impact; mere inches in the middle of the road.

i ruminate over what would have been left of me

there. in the middle of the dark.

or traveling back in time and not seeing clearly –

water blurring every memory into silhouetted shapes

is it a person or a place that nostalgia wraps itself around?

will i ever know?

i can feel my heart skip and stutter when i hear a familiar song

it screams for me to return.

though the water i create tempts me,

it creates a fortress for me to forge

forward into –

no longer the home of naivety,

where jealousy once whispered down its halls

there is nothing left for me to give to anyone.

and with this nothingness,

sadness no longer sharpens it’s teeth inside my stomach –

it pours from me into shapeless meaning.